#59 What Drives You? Finding (or Rediscovering) Your Deeper Why

Let’s talk about something that often gets buried under our to-do lists, routines, and responsibilities: What really drives you?

Not the surface-level answers like “I need to get dinner on the table” or “I have a deadline to meet.” I’m talking about your deeper why—the inner compass that guides your choices, sparks your passion, and gives your days meaning. Whether you're navigating a new season of life, feeling a little off-track, or just craving clarity, reconnecting with your "why" is one of the most empowering things you can do.

Your Why Evolves—And That’s Okay

The truth is, your deeper why isn’t a one-time discovery. It evolves. What mattered deeply to you at 25 might look different now. And what drives you today may shift again in the future. That’s not a sign you’ve lost your way—it’s a sign you’re growing.  As we enter new chapters (career changes, parenting transitions, self-discovery, or a desire for something more), it’s worth pausing to ask:

• What lights me up right now?

• What feels like it no longer fits?

• What do I want to pour my energy into next?

Step One: Explore Your Past

Think back to the moments in your life when you felt most alive—not necessarily when everything was easy, but when you felt connected, curious, or fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? How were you using your gifts?  Our past often holds clues to our purpose. Look at it with fresh eyes.

Step Two: Identify Your Core Values

Your values are the foundation of your “why.” They influence what you say yes to, what you say no to, and what motivates you on a deep level.  Ask yourself:

• What do I need in order to feel fulfilled?

• What am I unwilling to compromise on?

• What do I want people to remember me for?

Words like authenticity, creativity, connection, growth, or freedom might rise to the surface. Those are powerful signposts pointing you to your purpose.

Step Three: Reconnect With Your Passions

What gets your curiosity buzzing? What are you drawn to, again and again?

Even if you’ve stepped away from those things—maybe life got in the way—it’s never too late to return. Passions often start as tiny sparks: a hobby, a cause, a skill you’d love to develop. Follow those threads. They often lead you right to your deeper why.

Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic

Here’s something important to understand as you uncover what drives you: There are different kinds of motivation.

• Intrinsic motivation comes from within—doing something because it feels meaningful, exciting, or joyful.

• Extrinsic motivation comes from outside—praise, recognition, money, or responsibility.

Neither is good or bad. They’re simply data points. They help you understand why you’re doing what you do, and whether your choices are aligned with what really matters to you.

Ask yourself:

• What motivates me to get out of bed each day?

• What motivates my big decisions?

• What helps me stay committed?

• What makes me want to quit?

Knowing the “why behind your why” can help you make more intentional decisions that align with your values—not just your obligations.

Soul-Searching Made Simple

Think of this process like a life inventory. Break things down into smaller pieces and get curious:

• What brings me joy?

• What frustrates me?

• When do I feel most like myself?

• What do I want more of? Less of?

You can even reverse engineer your why: Visualize your ideal life—how it looks, feels, and flows. Then ask yourself: What’s driving me toward that version of my life? That’s your motivation.

Ask for Insight

Sometimes others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Ask trusted friends or loved ones:

• “When do you see me most lit up?”

• “What strengths do you think I bring to the world?”

• “What do you think I really care about?”

These conversations can offer surprising insights—and help you see your values and purpose from a new angle.

Your Why = Your Filter

Once you get clear on your “why,” something amazing happens:You begin to see your life through a different lens.You make decisions that fit.You feel more fulfilled in the day-to-day.You stop chasing things that don't align, and start building a life that does.

From Passion to Purpose: Finding Your Dharma

Jay Shetty, a former monk, describes purpose as the intersection of three things:

• Passion: What excites or interests you

• Compassion: How you want to serve or help others

• Expertise: What you’ve learned or developed skills in

That sweet spot—where your curiosity meets service and skill—is your Dharma, or life’s calling. It’s not something you have to go out and find—it’s already within you, waiting to be uncovered.

Keep Coming Back

Your deeper why isn’t something you figure out once and forget. It’s something you revisit. It’s something that shifts as you grow. Give yourself permission to evolve. To change your mind. To dream new dreams.  Because the more you understand what drives you, the more you’ll align your life with what truly matters—and that’s where real joy lives.

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